Fantasy Mundane Dreamland
Love without love events
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For your dreams may never become true.
Love without love events
This is the name that I am giving this post, because that is what really happened.
My dear reader I am warning you that this post may even be boring for those who have never been rejected from their lovers. I hope you understand why I have written it though.
THIS IS HOW IT ALL STARTED.
Love without love events is the title which I have given to this post. This event that I am going to tell you began several years ago. Somehow then I became lost in the greatest emotional love event of my life. I didn’t seem to have any choice at that time but to fall in love, and I became so affected from it that up to this day, it has even changed my way of thinking about love.
Therefore, I have thought about this bitter sweet love event with no love happenings, and I have always wished that if I was a good writer I could really write a good story about it, since it seems to me that I have lived through a very rare emotional love event, which only a few people will ever live during their lives.
But knowing my limitation as a writer as I had never written anything before I kept postponing this writing event, I suppose it has been that way just because I have never had the courage to start writing my tormented love story until now.
But at last I have made up my mind, and I have found the courage to say what I wanted to say so much for a very long time, that is to talk about my painful love story. You see it is easier for me to write my love story here because in here the land of dreams and fantasy nobody will have to prove that what I am telling you is the truth as well. So, it is a lot easier for me to write anything that I felt during my long love struggle without love happenings.
I believe that in dreamland is the right place to write my struggling love story, because after all it can be said that, it was only a love dream which I have dreamed during my struggling love life.
I would have liked to have taken more time, so that I could have practiced writing a lot more in order to improve my writing skills, to give my writings the right meaning they deserve.
But because of my age I am now a slow learner; so I have to give up just practicing writing, and I have to try to write the real thing now, before I begin to lose the real plot about what could be important to say.
Because in my case as time passes away it will make me slowly forget, and therefore my object that is still vivid in my mind now, would slowly fade away from my mind.
I started to live the greatest love dream of my life when I was about 55 years old. And this love dream of mine was not a simple dream that one is able to stop dreaming about when one wants to stop, because my love dream was stronger than myself, and therefore I had to bent to its will and follow its course, if I didn’t want to be ripped away from the chains of events.
Perhaps the real reason has been that I have been through a psychological storm of very high intensity, and therefore I have felt many things during this event, I have felt as if I were at the very edge of the human field of perception and endurance.
So great and important this event has been in my life, that it has changed my way of thinking; and therefore, I believe that only very few people go through such great love emotions as I have been. So it would be good for me, if I would be able to write those love emotions down just the way that they were, so that, I would have a sort of record about such event, which might be worth to relive and remember and in the end to find the reason of how and why they took place, even though they remind me of the great pains and torment that I had to go through, during this long and painful event of my life.
To anybody that happens to read my writings I will have to worn, that what I will be able to express in my writings, it’s only going to be a mild expression of the real love feelings that I went through, because it is not possible for me, and perhaps even for a better writer to express those feelings to the same dept as I felt them, because there are no words that I know, which will enable any writer to express those feelings as I felt them.
Since I have been through a very rare event of intense love, that was filled with pain and torment within me, the like of which I have never heard before. So, in order to express those feelings I will try to do my best, and I’d hope to be able to make myself clear enough in my writings, about what I have really felt during such event.
To understand me better one must consider that:
Of all the human emotions that a man can feel in his life, the passion for a woman’s love is the greatest of them all, because it is capable to give him great joy, but it is also capable to destroy him. So, the man that falls in love may feel blessed, and feel also cursed at the same time, because the man that falls in love has got no choice, but he has got to follow his dream of love wherever it takes him. It is all because God made man the slave of a woman’s love, and therefore a man is willing to submit to his love emotions, and love his sweetheart even if it happens to be painful at times, even if he got a negative response from her. The man that falls in love cannot avoid loving her even if he wants to try to quit loving her.
I can say this to you because; I have been through such rare love events lately in my life.
This love without love event is just another one of my unlucky love life, because during my young life I have always been unlucky, about finding a girl friend that I could fall in love with. I used to go dancing at least once a week, which was the only way for me to meet some girls, hoping to find a girl friend there if I could, but there were too many odds against me, so the girls that I have been able to kiss a few times only in my life, perhaps one would be able to count them on the fingers of one hand. Of these few girls I remember a special one that I took home just one night after dancing. I took her to her home in a cab, and after kissing her a few times on the footpath of her house, we said good night to each other and I went back home. I still remember this girl because after that night, I always was looking for her when I went to the same hall to dance, and although I met her a few other times at the dance hall, I never was able to take her home again, but my attraction for her lasted a very long time afterward.
She was attractive girl about as tall as I am, slander and pretty but simple; she was simple because she wasn’t a show off as most of the girls are, and judging for myself she would make a really good wife.
Perhaps that has been the reason why I was attracted to her for a very long time.
I am talking about this girl because, the woman that I have fallen in love with later in my life, looked very much like her when I saw her the first time. So I believe that for me there is a special physical attraction for both persons; and therefore each one of us is predisposed to fall in love with a certain type of person only.
So later on during my life, when I met the second woman that I have fallen in love with, my mind instantly recalled the first girl, because physically they looked very much the same. But because I was married and had three children, I was able to push aside the thought of love that I had at first sight, and I was able then to ignore her completely as a woman that I was in love with, and as a possible person that I would fall in love with for years.
But things always change, and what seems impossible to happen today for sure tomorrow can happen very easily, and one is forced to change according to the time one lives in. So, at this very moment I believe that I have to start talking about the woman that I have been in love for a very long time lately, and let me start with when I first saw her for the very first time.
The real time and the real place and what really happened I dare not say, as it is not very important to know, but the change that took place within me, from the effect of the falling in love with this woman is very important to note.
It is very important to note because, this event is the reason why I have started writing and therefore I am writing this post now, if this, love without love event did not happen, then I would not be writing this post now.
Fantasy Mundane Dreamland
Love wiout love events
IS GOING TO BE CONTINUED:
Next time with another event.
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