In search of inner peace

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Man Dreamland
In search of inner peace
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In search of inner peace

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I am saying that from there on I have been in search of inner peace, which is after we had this trip to Italy, because when we came back to Australia things between me and Giovanna were not the same any more. And from that time onward Giovanna has never been happy to live here in Australia, because she started believing then that if she had gone back to Italy, it would have been better for her.
Since then, I have wished and thought that she would forget about Italy, and she would make an effort to live here in Australia in a peaceful environment; but it was not to be, because later on everything started to turn even worse. And to cut a long story short, since then my family unit has become like a two horse carriage, with one horse pulling all the weight and the other horse pulling nothing at all. Also in my case things went from bad to worse, because in my case not only I had to pull all the weight, but my partner the lazy horse would bite and kick me when I wanted to do something useful, I think she did that to make me change my mind, and decide to go back to Italy: but that could not be, because I believe that for me it would have been a real disaster if I went back. So, as life went on and time passed by things progressively became worse for us, and my wife became sick with arthritis and also with depression. We went to see many doctors, and they have done everything possible for her to get her better; but it has not helped much. Now the worst part here is that my wife blames me for everything that has happened to her, therefore she thinks that it is my entire fault. I now that it is her depression that makes her think and behave like that, and she can’t help herself about that belief, so I think that my in-laws have really done a lot of harm to me and to their daughter, but anyhow that is past now and there is no way one can change anything.
So, I am in search of my inner peace since then. Now about my sick wife, knowing that she is sick and depressed does not help me, because I believe that I deserve better than the way she is treating me; and about her depression she is depressed because she has never really cared about me. So I would say that: After all what I have done for my wife, she has never really loved me, because if she had loved me, she would have found the meaning of life itself, and she would have found the way of how to live a better life here with me. Therefore I believe, that because she thinks only about her own self, and then she cannot have the way of life that she would have liked to have she is depressed.
This story that I have written above is only a short story of my life, which shows that it leaves me in a family unit that is very sick, and I believe that perhaps it is going to break up soon. So I am emotionally very distressed and it makes my life miserable. All these distresses and emotions make me feel strange at times, so much so that I would like to leave my wife and find somebody else, since she doesn’t allow me to make love to her, because I don’t mean anything to her and she does not seem to have any sexual desires even with another man I guess. She is cold as cold as frost? So I feel that I am in a deserted land, especially when I think about love.
In my next post I will be talking about this deserted love land.
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Man Dreamland
In search of inner peace
IS GOING TO BE CONTINUED;
Next time with, deserted love land.
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The oasis of peace

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Man Dreamland
The oasis of peace
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THE OASIS OF PEACE
This is an article that I wrote a long time ago and I called it: From the oasis of peace to the oasis of tranquillity.
I suppose every one of us has sometimes found a bit if peaceful living during our lives, one could call this the oasis of peace, just because we have found peace within ourselves. But this oasis of peace unfortunately does not last very long, therefore, soon or later we find that everything around us starts to give us trouble and this is when the oasis of peace ends, from there on we may try to find our peace again, but we may not succeed and we feel sorry for ourselves.
So, today I would like to talk about what is on my mind, because I have lost the oasis of peace within myself, it is all about the way that my emotional love life is taking me nowadays, so I wonder why I think always about these strange thoughts, and I feel as if I am in a deserted land, so now let me describe to you my state of mind if I can:
Now, let us just take one person for example, then one person should be one unit, and therefore one unit should be able to stand on its own; but it is not so. Because one person alone cannot live as a single unit for a very long time, since any person needs love and a family to live life properly. Therefore that single person soon will end up within a group as a unit of a family.
A complete family unit with all its members is a unit that can be independent from the outside world, provided that all the members of this family agree to be so. Therefore the best way to live one’s own life is within a family unit; but one has to admit that sometimes even the best of the family units may strike trouble. And this would be just like my own family unit at the present time.
Now because I am talking about myself, I would say that when I got married I built my own family unit. As it happened I built my family unit far away from my native land, and also away from any relatives or in-laws, just because I had moved away here in a far away land called Australia. There are a couple of reasons why I built my family unit here: One reason was because I was doing well here, since I had already established myself here in Australia, and if I went back to my native land of Italy, it would mean that I had to start from the beginning all over again; the second reason was that if I had gone back to my native land, I would have had problems with my in laws’ since they were not easy people to live with even at a distance. They would promise you every sort of help if you went there: only to find that they would do anything to make your life miserable, if you didn’t do anything their own way.
So I decided to stay put in Australia, and built my own family unit the way I wanted it to be, which to me it has been like an Oasis of Peace for a length time, partly because no one was telling us what to do, and also because to earn a living here in Australia was easier than in Italy.
So while I was living here in my Oasis of Peace, in the beginning I thought that I was doing very well indeed, although my wife had some different thoughts of her own. You see now, when I come to think about it, there were signs from the time when we arrived in Australia, that my wife didn’t like here very much; because I believe that she really loved the style of life that she used to have in Italy, when she was single and carefree, because then she had no much to do but to look after herself, and to dress herself up and go out to chat to her friends.
What my wife didn’t take into consideration the change of life that would follow, because when one gets married and moves to another country of course life would be different, perhaps life would be easier one way but harder another way, but anyhow we were living here and to a certain extend we were happy for a few years.
Then in the year 1980, we had a trip and went back to Italy to visit our relatives, and what happened there I could not believe myself. My parents in law and my brothers in law wanted Giovanna my wife to move back to Italy, but at the same time they didn’t want to help us at all financially, not only to move back to Italy: but they would not give my wife the share that by right she would have received if they had divided their property in equal share with her brothers. It was obvious from what they were doing, that my parents in law had received a fair bit of money, but they were giving all this money to their sons, which would be my brothers in law and nothing to Giovanna my wife. Therefore, they only wanted their daughter to be there with them, in the hope that she would be there to look after them when they would be old. You see they didn’t even consider how hard and foolish it would have been for me to move back to Italy under those conditions. So I decided that we had to come back to Australia, but from that time onward things started to grow slowly worse between me and my wife, because my wife really liked the idea of going to live back in Italy. In fact she liked to go back to Italy so much, that she was not even able to see that her own family didn’t care about her, as it was obvious that they cared only about themselves.
Since this happening with my in laws; I could not help to think about that: If my in laws had given their daughter what they were giving to her brothers at the time when this happened; or, if they had come clean and at least had said to her. Look my darling daughter, as you are not part of this family any more, we are not going to help you financially at all; and because you are married and have your own children you are not part of us. So go and live your own life! And live in peace with your husband, and may God bless you! Then it would have been great for me. But they didn’t do anything like that at all, and all they did was stirring up Giovanna (my wife) to move back to Italy. They were thinking only about themselves, and they did everything their own way, they didn’t understand or care how much hardship they were causing to their daughter, and at the same time they were treating me as a complete stranger, this is how the oasis of peace ended for me. But there is more to this and I will be telling you in next post.
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The oasis of peace
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Next time with, In search of peace.
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Madness of love, 14

WELCOME TO THE LAND OF DREAMS AND FANTASY! YOU ARE ALL WELCOME HERE MY FRIENDS TO DREAM ON AS LONG AS YOU LIKE. ENJOY YOUR STAY WITH US; GOOD LUCK AND SWEET DREAMS! AND IF YOU LIKE TELL US YOUR DREAMS YOU ARE WELCOME, WE WILL ALL BE LISTENING.
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Man Dreamland
From, SUNNY SMILE WRITINGS

Madness of love, 14
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From, SUNNY SMILE WRITINGS

Madness of love












This old fellow lives in the land of dreams and fantasy, this old fellow can be you as well as me. Dream on old fellow!
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Madness of love 14
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In this madness of love post number 14, Frank No: 1 here would like to tell you a story, which is a part of his own true life, in his madness of love he thinks that by telling this story to his sweetheart he might gain some rewards. You see he has lived his life until now the best way he could, with his own life partner, whom now is not interested in him anymore. Therefore now his way of living is falling apart, and so he would like so much to find a new partner, that would be able to help him to keep his love life running the way he likes best. This has happened because as I said his love partner is not interested in him anymore, so, he has become restless and looks around to find a way out; because of this he has fallen in love with a certain Lady and he starts dreaming about her all the time, and so, he would like to tell his sweetheart the following story, in order to show her that he may very well be worth loving. In his madness of love he wants to write to her and tell her many things and just how much he loves her, so, he decides to write her a letter to start with, and then tell her a story which could demonstrate how he feels about her. So he writes:

My dear love:
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First of all I want you to know that I love you beyond any human understanding, for this reason I would like to tell you a short story about my life, and how I am love sick because of you, and so explain to you the way of how I feel about you at the present time. Because right now, I am again living within myself another one of those painful and emotional love experiences, which I happen to live them just because I love you too much, therefore this love that I feel for you within my heart drives me to you, so I want to reach you and be in love with you no matter what happens. But because in my first approach you have denied your love to me I feel so desolated, I feel as if I am in a deserted land, I think that I feel that I am in a deserted land because the desolation of a desert seems to be equal to the desolation of my soul when it’s without your love. So this story that I would like to tell you, I want to show you the great torment that I feel within myself, and the restlessness of my soul that goes in search of you all the time.

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In my madness of love I have called my story: From the Oasis of Peace; to the Oasis of Tranquillity. With this story I hope to show you just how much I love you.
So, my dear readers you can read in my next few posts, this story called; “From the oasis of peace, to the oasis of tranquillity”. See you there!
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This is how I see things in my madness of love.
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Man Dreamland
From, Sunny Smile Writings
Madness of love, 14
IS TO BE CONTINUED:
Next time with part one of, From the oasis of peace to the oasis of tranquillity.
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Madness of love, 13

WELCOME TO THE LAND OF DREAMS AND FANTASY! YOU ARE ALL WELCOME HERE MY FRIENDS TO DREAM ON AS LONG AS YOU LIKE. ENJOY YOUR STAY WITH US; GOOD LUCK AND SWEET DREAMS! AND IF YOU LIKE TELL US YOUR DREAMS YOU ARE WELCOME, WE WILL ALL BE LISTENING.
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Man Dreamland
From, SUNNY SMILE WRITINGS

Madness of love, 12
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From, SUNNY SMILE WRITINGS

Madness of love, 13

This old fellow lives in the land of dreams and fantasy, this old fellow can be you as well as me. Dream on old fellow!
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Frank No: 2 writings:
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Madness of love, 13
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POSSIBLE SCENE IN THE FAR AWAY FUTURE, part 2

In my madness of love I say and think about strange things, and this is one of them:
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Madness of love, 13

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The far away future, Part 2
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This could be a scene in the far way future, part 2
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My madness of love story continues, see madness of love 12;
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And here the angel started to tell us; God made Eve for Adam; and this was done for obvious reasons, because no flesh and blood can live on its own and be happy. And in order that they could enjoy each other company, God gave them the most beautiful of them all, which nowadays on earth is called sex life or love. It all was made conditional, so that they would both enjoy it for the rest of their lives. Therefore the whole happiness for mankind is based on this need to love each other, which God made between a man and a woman, and it makes them feel as one single unit, because of the joy that they feel when they both make love to each other willingly together.
And God saw that it was good, so, He gave us the following rule to follow, which reads:
To every normal man a normal woman for a wife: So that they both can enjoy in full, the most beautiful gift that God has given us when he has given us our life, which is the joy of a man and a woman when they both willingly together make love to each other, and at that moment they feel so happy to live, to love and to be alive. They are so happy indeed that within their breasts their hearts and their souls sing in ecstasy; Glory to God Our Father and when he has given us our lives. (They are so in love and they wish their love would last forever during their lives).
But there are times when one of this pair may die, or may completely burn out for the rest of their own life, and therefore will not be able to satisfy the other partner needs of their sex life, and here I mean for the rest of their lives. Then, if the one that is still all right is unable to live his/her life because this will bring unhealthy consequences; Then we could and would relent the rules a bit, and allow the one that’s still all right find a new partner, provided that nobody feels hurt from the new situation. One should keep in mind that a man on its own is not alright to be alone, because he may very likely become sick from lack of sex life, unless he finds a way to relief himself of his excessive sex hormones, otherwise he may go crazy and do nasty deeds. Therefore a man needs a woman’s love, because only a man and a woman together will make a complete safe unit of life. That is how God made them; and that is how it will be forever. And also a woman needs a man just for the same reason, even though it seems that the needs for a woman are not as great as it is for a man.
In my madness of love and my imagination continues and sees this:
Here our angel teacher begins to comment about this rule:
So as you can see here, all that our Heavenly Father requires from you; is a normal relationship between a man and a woman, because this relationship insures to survival of the human race. Now since mankind by nature is sinful, our Heavenly Father might forgive small indiscretions, as long as it is a normal physical relationship between a man and a woman: Because that’s the way that God made them in the beginning and it there to stay and can’t be changed.
But down on earth nowadays, there are so many abnormal relationships happening between people of the same sex, and this makes our Father so sad: Because when He created us He never intended this to happen to us. This also reminds him of what He had to do when He destroyed the city of Sodom, in Lot’s story. At that time men had become so corrupt, that as a rule and not an exception a man had sex with another man, and there were times when they were too forceful about it, and they did it even if the other party was unwilling to have sex with them.
At that time the women folks were most times ignored by men, as they (the men) would prefer to go with their own kind, and it had become so terrible that our Heavenly Father decided to destroy Sodom and Gomorra.
Nowadays the only thing that could and would be more terrible than that is when minors are used for sex pleasure from older people, and worst still is when minors are being sold from criminals, for sex purposes to perverts.
God our Father is very sad when He sees all those awful and unnatural happenings, and hopes so much that people would control their abnormal desires, and also repent of their sins while they have still time to save themselves. God would like to see that, because if the abnormal desires of the people become more predominant than the normal ones, then drastic measures may have to be taken, and God our Father doesn’t like to do that unless He has got to.
Here our angel teacher pauses and says to us:
That’s all for the moment: Because the time has come for us to go and join the other groups, and then all of us together will sing: Glory to our Heavenly Father.
It is very important to glorify our Father, since everything that exists has come through Him, and everything that will exist in future will come through Him.
And blessed are those people that believe in Him, and have always believed in Him. Amen.
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This is how I see things in my madness of love.
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Man Dreamland
From, Sunny Smile Writings
Madness of love, 13
IS TO BE CONTINUED:
Next time with, Madness of love, 14
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St Valentine sends roses

WELCOME TO THE LAND OF DREAMS AND FANTASY! YOU ARE ALL WELCOME HERE MY FRIENDS TO DREAM ON AS LONG AS YOU LIKE. ENJOY YOUR STAY WITH US; GOOD LUCK AND SWEET DREAMS! AND IF YOU LIKE TELL US YOUR DREAMS YOU ARE WELCOME, WE WILL ALL BE LISTENING.

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From, SUNNY SMILE WRITINGS

Madness of love, 11

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From, SUNNY SMILE WRITINGS

Madness of love, 11

This old fellow lives in the land of dreams and fantasy, this old fellow can be you as well as me. Dream on old fellow!

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Frank No: 2 writings:
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Madness of love, 11
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St Valentine sends roses

At St Valentine one should really sent a dozen of red roses to your own sweetheart, this is what I believe, unless you know what your sweetheart really wants; well this is Frank No: 1 way of saying I love you to his sweetheart; But Frank No: 2 does not care and all he wants to do is tell his sweetheart how he feels about her, therefore, St Valentine sends roses does not apply to him:
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Frank No: 2, even though he has written already a Valentine letter to his sweetheart, he is still driven crazy by his love emotions which never let him go even for a moment. Since his love emotions for Sunny Smile that arise in his heart are usually painful, because no matter what he does he is unable to reach her and win her love, and for this reason he is love sick as lovesick can be. So he would like to convey to his sweetheart how painful it is for him, because of her rejection, and at the same time how important she is for him, because he loves her. So, in his lovesick state of mind which is mixed up with pains of rejection, he would like to plea with her not to cut him off completely, as it would be a disaster for him. He would feel so desperate if he loses her completely. Therefore, he would like very much to keep a tiny bit of hope, even if this tiny bit of hope is painful and almost nothing. Even if his hope is only just a dream of love, therefore he has written a sort of phraseology for the occasion, which shows very much the state of mind that he is in, and he hopes that one day he would be able to show this phraseology to his sweetheart, in the hope that his sweetheart would understand him.
So he writes to his sweetheart thus:

My dear love, they say that St Valentine sends roses, but I am not because;
My heart cries for you my darling, because it is too painful to love somebody if that somebody doesn’t love you at the same time, and at this time of the year is even worse. But because I love you so much even in this painful state of mind, my mind will never stop loving you and thinking about you, because I am forced from the love that I feel within my heart, which will make me think about you and love you all the time.
Therefore, in my painful state of mind I have written something to you. I have also written it in order to ease my unwanted love pains. What I have written could be described as phraseology. Now because this phraseology has been written under very painful circumstances, it is going to be painful to read, which would be just the way that I felt when I wrote them.
My writings portray a mixture of my love feelings for you, of the present and the past, and I hope that I don’t upset you in any way, if those phrases would sound a bit harsh on you because you don’t love me.
Therefore, I hope that you would understand me and accept my writings as they are, since I wrote them because that was what I have felt within my heart at the moment when I wrote them.
Because now is the time of St. Valentine, I would like to dedicate my phraseology to you as a Valentine letter; and this phraseology I will call; Let me dream about you. Please accept my phraseology because it shows you just how much I love you, even if it seems that all I talk is about pains: The reality is that it talks about my painful and unwanted love for you. So with this phraseology I’d like to you; please, let me at least dream about you.

LET ME DREAM ABOUT YOU.
It’s Valentine time. It’s time of love, and I wish I could see you to say that; I love you!
I wish you would find me worth loving, because I will never be able to stop loving you.
I would like to see you and talk to you of love, but it has become very difficult to meat you.
So, I feel very blue, and there is nothing that I could do, except to keep dreaming about you.

At Valentine time all lover love one another; so I hope that we could also love each other.
I wish so much that you would love me, because I love you so much that it hurts my heart.
I love you beyond any human understanding, but you don’t show any feeling of love to me.
So, with pains in my heart, and tears in my eyes I ask you: May I at least dream about you?

To live a normal life I need a woman’s love, I need a dream to feel that life is still worth living.
I want your love so much, so I would like to dream that one day you would become my love.
I love you with all my heart, my mind and my soul, and if I could love you it’ll be great for me.
But you don’t want me to love you, so, I would like to ask you: May I at least dream about you?

All the love that is in my heart is turning to pains, because you don’t want me to love you.
So, I’d like to kneel at your feet, and cry out all the unwanted love pains that are in my heart.
And I’d want to wash your feet with warm tears of love, to show you just how much I love you.
And after all this, if you still don’t love me I would pray you: Could I at least dream about you?

If you don’t love me, I would prefer to die near you from the most horrendous pains of love.
So, if I can’t reach you, I’d want to die from this violent love that from within torments me.
And it would feel good to die and find peace at last, from this love that wants to destroy me.
So, in despair for love, I’d kneel at your feet and pray you; to let me at least dream about you!

Let me dream about you, just because I love you, and I am always thinking about you.
I’ll have to dream about you, even if this dream that I dream is for me so painful to do.
Even if this dream that I dream, it’s only a dream, and it would never become true.
Because I can’t think of anything else, unless I think first just how much I love you.
And I will pray God to bless you, just because, you have let me dream about you.
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Since I can only dream about you, I will send you roses in my dreams, so that I can fulfil that requirement that St Valentine sends roses.
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Manfraco Dreamland Mundane
Madness of love, 11
IS TO BE CONTINUED:
Next time with, Madness of love, 12
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My dear readers, here we are in the land of dreams and fantasy dreaming away; but let me tell you this believe it or not this can happen to you as well as me?
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