The oasis of peace
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THE OASIS OF PEACE
This is an article that I wrote a long time ago and I called it: From the oasis of peace to the oasis of tranquillity.
I suppose every one of us has sometimes found a bit if peaceful living during our lives, one could call this the oasis of peace, just because we have found peace within ourselves. But this oasis of peace unfortunately does not last very long, therefore, soon or later we find that everything around us starts to give us trouble and this is when the oasis of peace ends, from there on we may try to find our peace again, but we may not succeed and we feel sorry for ourselves.
So, today I would like to talk about what is on my mind, because I have lost the oasis of peace within myself, it is all about the way that my emotional love life is taking me nowadays, so I wonder why I think always about these strange thoughts, and I feel as if I am in a deserted land, so now let me describe to you my state of mind if I can:
Now, let us just take one person for example, then one person should be one unit, and therefore one unit should be able to stand on its own; but it is not so. Because one person alone cannot live as a single unit for a very long time, since any person needs love and a family to live life properly. Therefore that single person soon will end up within a group as a unit of a family.
A complete family unit with all its members is a unit that can be independent from the outside world, provided that all the members of this family agree to be so. Therefore the best way to live one’s own life is within a family unit; but one has to admit that sometimes even the best of the family units may strike trouble. And this would be just like my own family unit at the present time.
Now because I am talking about myself, I would say that when I got married I built my own family unit. As it happened I built my family unit far away from my native land, and also away from any relatives or in-laws, just because I had moved away here in a far away land called Australia. There are a couple of reasons why I built my family unit here: One reason was because I was doing well here, since I had already established myself here in Australia, and if I went back to my native land of Italy, it would mean that I had to start from the beginning all over again; the second reason was that if I had gone back to my native land, I would have had problems with my in laws’ since they were not easy people to live with even at a distance. They would promise you every sort of help if you went there: only to find that they would do anything to make your life miserable, if you didn’t do anything their own way.
So I decided to stay put in Australia, and built my own family unit the way I wanted it to be, which to me it has been like an Oasis of Peace for a length time, partly because no one was telling us what to do, and also because to earn a living here in Australia was easier than in Italy.
So while I was living here in my Oasis of Peace, in the beginning I thought that I was doing very well indeed, although my wife had some different thoughts of her own. You see now, when I come to think about it, there were signs from the time when we arrived in Australia, that my wife didn’t like here very much; because I believe that she really loved the style of life that she used to have in Italy, when she was single and carefree, because then she had no much to do but to look after herself, and to dress herself up and go out to chat to her friends.
What my wife didn’t take into consideration the change of life that would follow, because when one gets married and moves to another country of course life would be different, perhaps life would be easier one way but harder another way, but anyhow we were living here and to a certain extend we were happy for a few years.
Then in the year 1980, we had a trip and went back to Italy to visit our relatives, and what happened there I could not believe myself. My parents in law and my brothers in law wanted Giovanna my wife to move back to Italy, but at the same time they didn’t want to help us at all financially, not only to move back to Italy: but they would not give my wife the share that by right she would have received if they had divided their property in equal share with her brothers. It was obvious from what they were doing, that my parents in law had received a fair bit of money, but they were giving all this money to their sons, which would be my brothers in law and nothing to Giovanna my wife. Therefore, they only wanted their daughter to be there with them, in the hope that she would be there to look after them when they would be old. You see they didn’t even consider how hard and foolish it would have been for me to move back to Italy under those conditions. So I decided that we had to come back to Australia, but from that time onward things started to grow slowly worse between me and my wife, because my wife really liked the idea of going to live back in Italy. In fact she liked to go back to Italy so much, that she was not even able to see that her own family didn’t care about her, as it was obvious that they cared only about themselves.
Since this happening with my in laws; I could not help to think about that: If my in laws had given their daughter what they were giving to her brothers at the time when this happened; or, if they had come clean and at least had said to her. Look my darling daughter, as you are not part of this family any more, we are not going to help you financially at all; and because you are married and have your own children you are not part of us. So go and live your own life! And live in peace with your husband, and may God bless you! Then it would have been great for me. But they didn’t do anything like that at all, and all they did was stirring up Giovanna (my wife) to move back to Italy. They were thinking only about themselves, and they did everything their own way, they didn’t understand or care how much hardship they were causing to their daughter, and at the same time they were treating me as a complete stranger, this is how the oasis of peace ended for me. But there is more to this and I will be telling you in next post.
The oasis of peace
IS GOING TO BE CONTINUED;
Next time with, In search of peace.
See you there