Manfraco Mundane Dreamland
Things we do for love
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THINGS WE DO FOR LOVE.
Before I start talking about my daydreams of love, I would like to repeat in here what I have already written somewhere else, which was that, in order to find a way out of my tormented love life I have started writing them, and while I have been writing these feelings of love, they seemed to me that my writings had become for me an escape from realty, all because of the strange and powerful feelings of love that I was feeling within me then.
Now I have written these happenings because they have happened to me, and they seem to me to be unique in their own way, because I am a man of advanced age.
So now while I am writing these writings, I am in the greatest dilemma of my life, with lots of pains and despair within my heart. You see I am a man of very mature age, and in a few years I will be an old man, but what has happened to me now has never happened to me before in my whole life. Because now I have fallen in love with a beautiful lady, and I am so madly in love with her that I am almost gone crazy, and I have been asking myself why this has happened to me.
Although I know now that at least part of this love madness of mine, which has hit me so hard in the later part of my life, may be due to the fact that my relationship with my wife has completely ceased to exist, I have also started to realise that there are other reasons as well, which I am willing to find out why I am so madly in love.
Therefore, I ask you to forgive me if I sound stupid, while I am writing about my unhappy love life at my age, because at my age generally it should be ridiculous to fall in love; but I have fallen in love! And I can’t help it. So if it seems to you a bit strange what I am saying, it is because I am an elderly man madly in love. But at the same time I am also in despair from the lack in my life of any woman relationship.
Therefore, please pardon me, because during my life nowadays, I have been under a great emotional distress from my tormented love life. But I am writing about these painful love feelings for a couple of reasons, one is that by writing what I am going through and what I have been through with this love emotionally, I may perhaps gain some sort of relief from my love pains, and it may help somehow my love soul. And in second place, I may use my love writings to let the lady love of my heart know how much I love her.
I want to let her know that she has been the centre of my love emotions, and how much torment and pains of love I have been through for her: And in the knowledge that she knows my love pains and just how much I love her, and what great love emotions she has raised within my heart, I may gain some peace of mind, and perhaps her love. If that’s God’s will.
But to write what’s going through my mind at the moment in a way that it makes sense, it’ going to be a very hard task for me, because I lack the skills of a writer. So, you have to pardon me if I make too many mistakes, because I have never been to school long enough to learn how to write properly. Therefore, I am not a well educated man at all, and the primary school that I went to when I was young was not an English school; so my knowledge of the English language is even lower than my normal writing skills. You see my knowledge of English is what I have learned here and there day in day out, and when in case of necessity like now I have always tried to learn a bit more.
You have to realise that never before in my life I’ve felt so inadequate, especially about my poor knowledge of the English language; because the task ahead of me is so huge, since what I want to say is so important to me. But I have to try to do my best, and say what I want to say in the clearest way possible. In order to achieve this result I may have to write my writings at least ten times over and over again, but I don’t mind doing it the hard way. Because these are the things that the force of love makes me do.
I want also to inform you, that before this task came up I didn’t even know how to type or how to use a typewriter, but the great pressure of my love emotions got the better of me, and they have pushed me to learn how to type. So now I have learned how to type only slowly but I do type. And those love emotions that don’t let me go even for a moment are making me learn more English, so now I can express better what I feel deep within me, since these feelings within me need to be expressed properly. There have been some love phrases that have taken days to formulate in my mind, and when they are emotional love phrases in a case like mine, which they are negative they are very painful to formulate. But no matter how hard and painful it will be for me, I will continue to write what I have to write, I will try to express myself clearly, and say it just the way that I happen to feel inside myself. So, help me God!
A possible way out of my dilemmas.
Now that I am writing this post it makes me wonder, why a man has to put up with so much pressure? Why I did not try to find another way to satisfy my yearning for a woman love, or perhaps just find a hooker, and by satisfying my sex drive the love for this woman could be less demanding? Things we do for love are incredible.
Manfraco Mundane Dreamland
Things we do for love
Next time with, Crying for love.
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