SUNNY SMILE WRITINGS
Madness of love 4
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From, SUNNY SMILE WRITINGS
Madness of love 4
Madness of love 4
My dear readers let me continue to tell you about my love without love story that I was telling you in my last post of Manfraco Dreamland: This is post, Madness of love 4, which is the continuation of Madness of love 3.
Anyhow, while I was in this garden and while I am thinking what to say and what to do if I meet Sunny Smile, I see Sunny Smile coming into the garden, I try to keep calm and keep doing what I was doing, and hope so much that she would be coming my way, she is looking around to enjoy the sights, and after a little while she turns and she is walking towards me. And a thousand thoughts flash across my mind. And I am thinking I am at the cross-roads of something that can be great! The only thing that I have to do is to find the courage to speak to her, and say what I have to say; After all a lot of great deeds, have been carried out by great people, just because they have had the courage to make that final decision. For example, even the emperor; Julius Caesar had to decide to march his army to Rome, even if he had to battle against the rest of the roman’s armies. So I must go on and take my chances, and do what I have to do, therefore I have to speak to Sunny Smile, about my love feelings that I have for her.
Now Sunny Smile is walking towards me and she is getting very close to where I am, and I feel that she is going to say at least hello if she passes me by, but I want to make sure that I can talk to her, just in case she walks past me with a smile and says nothing. So while she is approaching I smile to her and say: ‘Hello Sunny!’ And since in the garden there is a sit nearby I found the courage to say; please sit down here, I would like to talk to you. She looked at me in a strange way. And then I don’t know what came over me, when I found myself saying to her something crazy like this. If you need a man in your life please take me I am yours. I am sure now that I said the wrong thing, because;
She looked at me as if I was a mad man. And then she said. ‘Thank you for your offer; but no thank you.’ She said a few more things to the same effect, and then she walked away from me. Now you can see why I call this post, Madness of love 4.
After that meeting when I saw Sunny Smile in the garden again, I felt so distressed and in love with her, so I picked a bunch of flowers and gave them to her. She said; ‘thank you, they are beautiful,’ and another few words just to be polite, and nothing else happened after that, but she showed interest in the flowers and not in me. And after that event whenever I met her I would try to be nice to her and give her roses and flowers, but all of my efforts seemed to be in vain, as this relationship was not progressing at all, in fact it became worse as time went by. Meanwhile it was becoming clear to me that I was falling deeply in love with Sunny Smile. So I was falling in love with this lady Sunny Smile but she didn’t want to love me; or at least she tried to make me believe that she didn’t love me. And that moment I wished so much to know what was in her heart, but I couldn’t. I have tried to talk to her and offer her things; but all my efforts seem to be in vain, because she responds always in the negative.
So as you can see I have tried to get a relationship going, but I didn’t succeed; and all I got from it was a broken heart. I thought that at my age these happenings should not have worried me at all; but they did really worry me, as this is my Madness of love 4, which is going to make me half crazy.
This happening has worried me because, when I tried start my relationship going I was thinking that I could walk away from it, and I wouldn’t care if the answer would be in the negative. But then, when I found out that I would not be able to walk away from her, it was a real shock to me.
I could not do it because, I was falling deeply in love with Sunny Smile, and then I started to realise that what seemed for me an easy way out did not exist anymore. Or perhaps it would be better to say that an easy way out had never existed, because I had always loved Sunny Smile without knowing it myself.
And as time went by I fell in love more deeply, because I really wanted Sunny Smile to be mine. Because every time that I saw Sunny I would realise, that she was the best woman that I had ever seen or known, she would for sure be the best wife in the world, and lucky would be the man that could marry her, since she had everything that a man values most in a woman.
And at the same time, I felt so sorry for her because she had divorced; and I could not understand why her former husband had gone so far and divorce her. And indeed if it was me, I would have cried my heart out to her until she would have forgiven me. But it seems that he didn’t even try to ask her to forgive him.
And the more I saw Sunny and talk to her, the more impressed I was about her; since I saw her managing her things exactly the same way that I would manage them, when I am at my best.
And I thought that if I had a twin soul she must be my own twin soul, I have no doubts about it. So, she managed everything so well that I lost my heart over her, because I started thinking how great it would be if she was my wife, she would be the most worthy wife that a man can ever have: She is so beautiful, she is so smiling and warm, she is so understanding, she is so clever, she is so human in her way of dealing with me and with people.
What else can a man ever want from a woman? She would be the most perfect wife that a man can ever have! I know that now I am comparing her to my wife, which at this present time she has become my wife only in name, and I don’t know if she will ever be able of making love to me in the future, and therefore become my wife again as it is supposed to be.
But for a moment, let us stop here to see what difference could there have been between Sunny Smile and my wife! And the difference was so great because; Sunny Smile seemed to me like the sun warm and full of life; and my wife seemed like the moon cold and lifeless, so it would be like comparing the day to the night, it would be like comparing the light to the darkness. If this comparison had happened years ago my wife could have scored much better; but because my wife now is sick and weak, and I don’t know if she is going to be better in the future, and she is also growing colder and colder as a woman, and there is no more love for me. And I am afraid that because she doesn’t love me anymore, and I have to keep away from her I will not be able to love her anymore, as it would be a waste of time for me and it would make me only upset. So this is one of the reasons, or perhaps the only reason, why I have fallen in love Sunny Smile and invented dreamland to have my love dreams. Now, I hope you see what I mean and the reason why I have called this post, madness of love 4 in ma Manfraco Dreamland writings.
My dear readers, here we are in the land of dreams and fantasy dreaming away; but let me tell you this believe it or not this can happen to you as well as me?
Madness of love 4
IS TO BE CONTINUED:
Next time with, Madness of love 5
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